I guess I'm back.

Losing interest in something that always makes your heart flutter is tough.
 

People who know me for the past decade of my life would know how much I grow up as an ambitious girl, who wanted to become a successful, independent woman.
 

I always said that I want to become a writer, but then my SPM result didn't side with me. So I have to continue my studies at the STPM level. But wanting to continue with literature studies didn't go well with a lot of opposition from my parents.
 

Then I guess I still have a little hope in me when I found that I was interested in the Pengajian Am subject that made me want to become a political writer, and I want to continue my studies in Political Science.
 

Sadly, luck was not on my side again when even a good STPM result, didn't get me to enroll in the course that I wanted and again I wasted 4 and a half years of my degree life learning not a thing I understand and not wanting to understand.
 

At the age of 27, I still can't get over how depressive everything feels like during those years. I lost interest in everything including reading and writing. Heck. Those books are damnably expensive. I can't even afford a good meal, how can I buy books? Hahaha.
 

I got married at 25, in the 3rd year of marriage now, and 28 cats later, I got a stable permanent job, thou I can't say that they are worth my degree, but I finally got the sparks of love from reading and writing again. And here I am not knowing how to express myself over this line because no amount of words could describe how I feel like.
 

I revert almost all of my past posts in this blog to draft, I don't want to remember most of them anymore. I want to leave behind all of the past that scattered the deepest scars in my soul. I hope this is the end of the darkest time and this is the beginning of me pursuing my dreams.

With love, Amira.